What kind of Taco Bell customer are you?

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 12/12/2014 at 13:48 • Filed to: None

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This is a slide !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . It breaks Taco Bell customers out into 5 categories: Social Explorer, Edgy Craver, Status Feeders, Morning Hustler, and capital-D Dudes. I'm !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , but what the hell is this supposed to mean?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

What if someone is a capital-D Dude who hustles in the morning and Edgily Craves a Cool Ranch Doritos Tacos Locos at night? Social Explorers are apparently interested in a Foodie Revolution that takes place at Taco Bell. This is the first time I've heard of this revolution.

Is a Status Feeder someone whose feeding of themselves at Taco Bell is the status quo, or someone who spends a lot of time posting statuses about their feeding habits, and wouldn't that also make them a Social Explorer?

Dude.

For Sweden > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:50

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Where is the "Go once every year or so because why not" catagory?

this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:51

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dude.

Frosted > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:51

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I just eat taco bell and hope for the best. Label me the Bathroom Destroyer I suppose.

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:51

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3edgy5me

DailyTurismo > For Sweden 12/12/2014 at 13:52

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Right next to the "go once every year because it is cheaper than a colon cleanse" catagory.

Takuro Spirit > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:52

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I'm in the "It was this or McDonald's because our small town only has two fast food choices" demographic.

E. Julius > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:52

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Obviously the status feeders are those parvenus who only buy Taco Bell to make their neighbors jealous.

For Sweden > DailyTurismo 12/12/2014 at 13:52

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If Taco Bell really does that to people, I'd hate to see them try Indian food.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:54

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Hmm. where's the "Never been but would like to just to see if the food is as mediocre as everyone says it is"?

DailyTurismo > For Sweden 12/12/2014 at 13:55

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Indian-TacoBell Fusion: Taco bell naan stop?

Soloburrito > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:56

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Proud Dude here. Omnomnom steak quesarito.

MonkeePuzzle > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:58

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where is "last resort" option

JGrabowMSt > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 13:59

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I've never gone to Taco Bell. Like, I've never set foot in a Taco Bell for any reason, nor have I ever put anything from their establishment into my body.

jariten1781 > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 14:00

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I'm a "goes when the KFC line in the same building looks too long" type myself.

HammerheadFistpunch > For Sweden 12/12/2014 at 14:01

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Yeah, thats me. Its a "what the hell, my blood's just been flying through my veins lately."

HammerheadFistpunch > DailyTurismo 12/12/2014 at 14:01

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oh man thats funny.

yamahog > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 14:15

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Look, they can't just have it say "stoners," so they had to make something up.

Though there is no category for "has an obscene need for Chalupas once every month."

Textured Soy Protein > yamahog 12/12/2014 at 14:20

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The Chalupa has fallen out of favor at Taco Bell. The only one left on the menu is the beef Chalupa Supreme. Used to be you had your choice of beef, chicken or steak, and supreme, baja or nacho cheese. Even the Gordita upon which the Chalupa is based has gotten menu innovation lately. The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is now available with the Doritos taco shells in addition to the regular crunchy taco shell.

Foodie Revolution™!

yamahog > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 14:25

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I know, I loved the baja, but this doesn't stop my inhuman craving for Chalupas when I'm experiencing the monthly curse. There is no biological reason why one should crave Chalupas while shedding uterine lining, yet I've somehow made the connection and there I am, every month, like Pavlov's dog in bleeding idiot form.

Textured Soy Protein > yamahog 12/12/2014 at 14:32

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A mere mortal (or one of Taco Bell's capital-D Dudes) would perhaps cringe at this information, but my gf gets a monthly Culver's ButterBurger craving so I'm very well aware of this phenomenon.

nermal > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 14:34

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WTF IS THIS SHIT?!?!?!?!

You mean I can get a cheesy gordita crunch with a Doritos shell?

BRB, gotta make some preparations at home before I b-line to the nearest Taco Bell. I think I'm gonna need the Mega Rolls for this one.....

Textured Soy Protein > nermal 12/12/2014 at 14:55

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As long as the Doritos shell you crave is of the Nacho or Fiery variety, yes, you can get a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with a Doritos shell . No dice on a Cool Ranch Doritors Cheesy Gordita Crunch, for whatever reason.

RockThrillz89 > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 16:22

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Capital-D Dude = Drunk

Look at the examples in the category - they all look like someone took a dump on a plate, then scooped some "guac" on top. I don't know about you, but when I'm tanked I just want shit I can shovel in real quick so I can roll on to the next matter on the itinerary for the evening.

ranwhenparked > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 16:57

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I don't see a "grossed out by 85% of the menu, but wind up eating there maybe a few times a year" category.

Nibbles > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 18:11

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How about the the "Hungover" category?

'Cause that's the only time we go to Taco Bell

Blake Noble > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 22:43

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You can still get a Baja Chicken Chalpua. After all, they still drench the Cheesy Gordita Crunch in Baja sauce. Just tell them to hold the sour cream, add Baja sauce and sub the beef for chicken (or steak).

My local T-Bell doesn't care to make them, anyway.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Textured Soy Protein 12/12/2014 at 22:57

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Never been to Taco Bell.

Am I missing out?

Textured Soy Protein > Blake Noble 12/13/2014 at 01:39

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I'm sure you could ask for one by name and they'd make it. Just not officially on the menu any more.

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > Textured Soy Protein 12/13/2014 at 01:40

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What? I get the Chalupa Supreme with Chicken often, almost all the time, really.

Textured Soy Protein > Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) 12/13/2014 at 14:49

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It's not a menu item unto itself anymore, but if you order one they'll make you one.

Textured Soy Protein > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut 12/13/2014 at 14:51

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It's nothing special. However in my particular corner of midwestern suburbia, if I have a craving for junk food after a certain hour of night, it's one of very few options close to my house.